Despite the efforts of the IOC to award them elsewhere the next summer Olympics are STILL coming to London in 2012 (albeit in a slightly different form) and it has been decided that the games will be updated and made more interesting. Ratings on television and crowds at the venue itself need a boost and this is apparent by simply looking at what people are watching on television today. The channels are filled with reality shows and extreme competitions. When it comes to entertaining, the more bizarre and off the wall, the better the ratings and more interested the audience. Since this is the case, the Olympics should follow suit and update the lineup of games.

The first sport that should be added would be the mud tug of war. Strongman competitions are popular and this group sport allows for team play. For better entertainment value, there should be a lot of disgusting insects, slugs, slithery creatures etc involved in the middle of the playing field, so the losing team truly gets terrified.

Parkour is an exciting sport that has taken cities by storm. Jumping from building to building and performing amazing tricks over and around common objects just with the body requires a certain level of skills and unabashed disregard for personal safety. It looks pretty cool and would make a great Olympic sport.

Dodgeball has made its way from the playground to becoming an adult sport that is seen in YMCAs and fitness clubs around the world. It is time to make this more than simply an intramural level sport. Seeing people get hit by that red rubber ball would be so much more exciting if it were made more official and be one the games.

Motorcross is much more exciting than BMX, so this should replace the bicycle sport. Adding horsepower can only make things better. When adding this, the freestyle jumping competitions should be added as well.

In the days of the Coliseum, slaves and criminals were pitted against wild animals such as tigers and lions. They were hunted and had to fight to stay alive. Such amazing spectacles should be brought back. In the United States as well as other countries, the prisons are terribly overpopulated. Many of these criminals are on death row and have no chance of parole. Having these doomed criminals fight to the death in front of thousands of people would be phenomenal.

A sport that has seen increasing popularity in the last few years would be women’s roller derby. This fast paced sport should be in the Olympics. A group of hearty women pushing and beating each other while racing around on roller skates makes for great entertainment.

The Olympics need to get better since the current lineup of sports is too boring and traditional. With the addition of some interesting, unique, and bizarre sports it will surely improve!!

Copyright the UK Alternative Olympics Committee (ie, Sid and Doris Loonie) 2010